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VLC Media Player review

VLC Media Player

VLC Media Player

Boobs: A silver lining

There are many things to be concerned about in the world. The United States of America is led by an inept toddler covered in Cheetos dust. He seems determined to empower Nazis and other dangerous dictatorships around the globe. The British version of this guy is leading the UK (so, Donald Trump with even worse teeth). The world is literally on fire because of climate change and greedy corporates who do everything they can to stop any serious attempts to correct it.

Sometimes it can feel downright terrifying. It can feel like we are all doomed. We must wait for the inevitable. Either the destruction of humankind due to global warming's superstorms or rapidly rising sea levels. Or, we can enter a world-war three scenario in which we will each nuke one another. It's a race between these two options at this point... I wonder which folly we will fall prey to first.

It's not all bad. We are also in a golden age porn. If you will, it's a pornographic Renaissance. It is far more porn today than ever before. It is also easier than ever to access. Perhaps most important, however, is the incredible quality of porn we have at our disposal. It doesn't matter if we have 4K HD videos of gorgeous women enjoying jizz, or virtual reality videos that allow us to feel as if we are filling the porn stars with jizz. There is no doubt about this: porn has never been better.

It's truly a wonderful time to live. The only problem with porn is oversaturation. There is so much porn online, and much of it is top-notch, cream-of the-crop content. How can one know which sites or viewing methods are best? That is precisely why I am here, friends!

Like my hero, The Porn Dude, I will help you to weed out undesirable porn sites. One thing that The Porn Dude taught was something I learned from him during his informal mentoring of me. It is that a porn website reviewer's job it to save you, dear reader, as much money and time as possible. It is my mission to accomplish this. I hope you enjoy it. Although I am not as skilled as The Porn Dude, I try my best. That's what matters.

A great media player is essential for great porn

You will need a media player that can manage a wide range of file types and can play high quality video without being jerky if you depend on torrenting or other free download sites to get your swag. You might not be able to use the media player that came with you computer.

You may have encountered this problem before: downloading a torrent of a porn movie that you have been wanting to watch for a long time. The file downloads slowly, and you wait. The file finally downloads and you are excited to open it. You're already half full, with some lube on your hands, and ready to sink into bliss. The unthinkable happens. The video file won’t play. What's the matter? Windows Media Player is the standard for video playback, or do you?

It's not. Windows Media Player, and the built-in media players of most operating systems, are not programmed to handle the obscure file types you might encounter while on pornographic adventures. You will probably want to search for a better one at some point. This was exactly what happened when I tried uploading and playing back the sex tape I had made of myself and Dolly (my gorgeous redheaded sex doll). Windows Media Player couldn't recognize the file. So, I set out on a quest to find one.

Which is the Best Media Player?

Fortunately, thanks again to The Porn Dude, I was able to quickly find the media player that would end all media players. VLC was it. Perhaps you've heard of VLC before. Perhaps you have seen it on a friend’s computer. Perhaps you have heard about it on one of the porn forums you frequent every day. VLC will be your savior, I promise it.

VLC will play almost any file. VLC has never failed to recognize a file I've used for years. It could be one of my many sex tapes with my sex doll, or any strange and esoteric torrent file. VLC can make it happen so you can get to fappin’! (Whoa! Someone should tell them that I just discovered their new slogan! ).

VLC will not cause you any problems. VLC can play any type of media, including a DVD or a webcam stream. It can also play files, from a computer, or a CD-ROM. It can handle almost anything (much like a well-seasoned porn star), including MP2, MP3, MP1/2 and MP4, AC3, WMA WMV FLAC, ALAC. MIDI, ETC. VLC can play any acronym. Windows Media Player, take a look at that nut bag...

Works on Every and Every Platform

VLC also has the advantage of not having to worry about which platform you're using. Windows? It's easy... Mac No problem... Linux? Yes! You don't need to use VLC on your computer. VLC can be used with your porn mobile to stream the most steamy smoky smokes your phone can handle. Both Android and iOS are supported. No matter what phone you have, Android or Apple, you can still fap on the go.

VLC also allows you to add custom skins. You can choose from one of the preset skins VLC offers or create your own using their skin editor. Do you want your porn-themed porn player? You're done, buddy. Apply some skin to your skin, and then enjoy! ).

Skins, extensions, and free sourced software

VLC offers a slew of extensions that will enhance your porn theatre experience. There are many add-ons that can help you get your groove on. The History Based Shuffle extension shuffles content based upon viewing and listening history. You might prefer Jump to Time Previous Frame. This allows you to skip through videos one frame at a time. Do not blindly click on that scrub bar to find your preferred position. To jump to the next frame, click the button. Awesome. These extensions are awesome. If only I could get extensions to my dog...

VLC Media Player's best feature has not been mentioned yet. It is free! VLC is not-for-profit. All of their skins and extensions are open-sourced. The only thing this organization cares about is giving people a better way of viewing media (and yes, porn counts). Their website claims that there is no spyware, ads or user tracking. This means that you will have uninterrupted, private, risk-free fapping sessions for the rest of your perverted lives.

You can try it for yourself. If you like it even a little, you can donate what you can. This is how VLC survived and continues to improve their programs. They also offer cool features such as extensions and customizable skins. Dolly, I'm going to grab you and make another porno. Perhaps this time I will try to get Suki, my body pillow, to join us for some three-way action.

  • Every file type is supported
  • Cool and practical extensions
  • All platforms supported
  • 100% Free
  • You can customize
  • Mobile friendly
  • Mobile Support
  • Honestly, nothing!